I Thought Green was Icky

Outfit Details:

Hair scarf: great grandma's

Cardigan: Delia's (looks like they will be relaunching this brand soon. This cardigan is ancient!)

Dress: Cactus Flower

Shoes: gift

Hello lovelies!

Today I wore this brand new (to me!) dress from Cactus Flower. I was unsure if I was going to keep it because of the color, but I did get compliments on it today. Maybe it is a keeper, but maybe I hate this shade of green too much to keep it.

I spent all afternoon yesterday downtown. My 4:00 class was canceled and I decided to enjoy the day! I bought a pair of sweater clips at AZ, browsed the antique mall, and purchased a top and this dress from Cactus Flower. I tried on a lot of things at Cactus Flower including a bright turquoise Swirl dress. It fit, but I chose not to buy it since someone had cut out one of the waist ties. Finding matching fabric would be near impossible. It was also missing the iconic Swirl button in the back. Even for $35 I chose to just skip it. 

Lately I've been squeezing into all of my clothing. I have gained SO much weight this semester. I think it's a combo of not walking to class as much and binge eating. I'm beginning to think that I may have developed an eating disorder that is the complete opposite of the one I struggled with in middle school. To me, that makes absolutely no sense, but lately I find that I can't buy certain foods or I will eat them completely gone in one day. I've gained about 30 pounds since becoming a vegan/vegetarian and I think it may be that when I do eat sweets, I can't stop myself. I eat until they are gone. Whole tubs of ice cream? Gone in two days. A bag of chips? Gone in one sitting. I'm not sure if I should seek help or just not keep these things in my apartment. I've never really had a healthy relationship with food, but I'm starting to hate myself and the way that I look more than I ever have. Calvin claims he hasn't noticed the weight gain, but I can see it and feel it, and for some reason it just makes me want to eat even more. I know how I'm supposed to eat, but for some reason I just can't control myself.

Sorry for the super personal post today, but I think I just needed to put that out there for others to see.